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Come On Over

 Imagine, for a moment, that every conversation, every conflict, is a house—and when someone brings up an issue they are having with you, they are inviting you into their home. You see, they are the host. The environment has been crafted by them, for them, and they hold the higher frame. To misunderstand this, to charge in with solutions, arguments, or defenses, is as ill-mannered as rearranging the furniture in someone else’s living room.

In such instances, your job is not to redecorate. Your job is to listen. Fully. To acknowledge them as the host and let them know they have been heard. When you do this, when you allow your awareness to become a river through which their words flow—rather than a dam that resists and fights—something extraordinary happens: the issue dissolves. No action is necessary because, in many cases, the grievance was never truly about action to begin with. It was about being seen, being felt. Their turbulence is washed away by the gentle current of your presence.

Once they have spoken, once they have been heard—exit the house with the grace of a gentleman. Do not linger, do not resist, do not pick up their energy and carry it with you. You leave their environment unburdened, free of resentment, free of defensiveness. The mud settles, the water clears.

And now, you wait.

If, after reflection, you see a breach of your own boundaries, or feel action is needed, then you must create your own environment. Invite them over to your house, metaphorically speaking. This is a space crafted by you, with intention, on higher ground. It is no longer a reaction but a proaction—an act of love and respect. Invite them to sit at the table, to share in the meal of your thoughts. Speak your peace not from a place of retaliation, but from clarity. The energy changes entirely.

They will listen, not because you demanded it, but because you waited. You remembered their words and gave them importance. You set the stage where they now become the guest. And as any good guest does, they will feel welcomed into your world and open to the loving intention you bring.

Understand this: whoever starts the engagement, often owns the environment. When they speak, they host. Let them. Respect it. To air your grievances in return is to shout across someone else’s table. It is to throw mud into already muddy waters.

Instead, allow the mud to settle. Allow the moment to pass without resistance. And when the water is clear, take the higher ground. Build your environment, and when they arrive—invite them in. That is where true understanding, and true connection, begins.


Posts that Pair Well
- Lake Of Mud
- Boundaries


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